stupid Driver.

Yesterday, when i was driving home, there's one incident.
On the lanes where the two lanes become one lane, one stupid bus driver overtake me eventhough the road is so narrow already and almost bang my car.
He was behind me ok. and I wasn't driving very slowly.
Is it that nice to bully the P-licence driver?
They were once the p-licence driver too..
I just hate them for doing this..
Luckily nothing happened...
Curse that stupid driver!!!!!!

Going back..

Today is monday, while my two little sisters are still sleeping at home,
I have already dragged myself to college.

I know the lecturers are going to teach all the A2 stuff.
BUT.............I am so not in study mood.
Don't you think so?
Right after the torturing exam, we still have to fill our brain with more and harder stuff.
AHHHHHHH...Just don't feel like it.

I am so in holiday mood already.
What to do?
I still have to study hard as the next level is much harder than what I am doing right now.
May be for some people they think that it's easy, (IT'S NEVER EASY I TELL YOU.)
I still think that it's hard.
Nevermind, I will catch up soon..

The worst thing is, I've forgatten more that 70% of what I've learnt..gahhhhhhhh

Visiting my dad....at his office

Today me and my sisters decided to surprise my dad by going to his office.
Ended up my mom told him that we were going. =.=
When i reached there, my dad was checking all the reports and accounts. And there's A LOT!
Thicker than all the A levels book.

Then I helped my dad to do some stuff and work.
Tell you a secret. My dad is not so good at computers. Luckily he is a senior and doesn't need to do a lot of computer work. I helped him to key in some data and then we went back home.

While I was helping my dad doing the work, I started realised how hard is it to earn money.
Eventhough it is time to go home, my dad insists on finishing his work.
And I realised how much he had sacrificed for us. Btw, my dad works in a bank.

I had the opportunity to play with the machine which count the money and the machine that is used to detect counterfeit notes.
Luckily there was very few ppl at that time.

Sometimes I tell my dad that i wanted to work in a bank, just like him.
Then my dad tell me, then you will have to be able to cope with stress and the rush.
Most importantly, the money.

I love money, who doesn't. LOL.

Off to go...

I just had my bio paper 2 this morning.
I can't believe that everthing just ended like this. I mean after studying for so long, we are only given 75 minutes to prove ourselves. Sometimes I just feel funny.

Despite all this, I am so glad that all these are going to be over. i missed college and classes.
I missed the stress-less life.
I wil think about A2 after i had fun. I don't want to die of heart attack at this young age.

So wish me luck ppl. For tomorrow.

Revealed

I always believe that time can really change everything. No matter what, we can't be sure that one thing will always stay where it was before.

I can't really explain this but this is true. I don't know when does it start but I do feel the change. I am starting to notice. I am starting to care. I am wondering.

I've been waiting long. Waiting long enough to heard my inner voice.
However, I still haven't received the message.

I am kinda lost and confused. I don't know whether I should give it a try or not.
I am scared. What if the whole thing just doesn't work? What if I screwed up everything? What if I hurt anyone?

After everything we've been through, I felt the sincerity. This is the thing that make me touched. No one has done that to me before. Maybe there was but it's just a different thing.
What will happen if I nod? What will happen if I don't?

I know that I am hurting someone already. I've been thinking for the whole year. I am just so undecisive. Maybe it's not worth worrying as it may be the past for someone.
I was wondering. Is it too late to start realising now?
I know it's too late right now. It's bullshit to start talking all these nonsenses right now.

All this while. No. All these years, I am inexperience. Inexperience in encounting all these. There's no one to tell me what to do. Even myself.
Sometimes I am just being selfish.
I know I shouldn't block your way. You have your own life and I have mine.

It has been countless night, I ended up tearing under my blanket till I fell asleep.
I have no guts to tell anyone. Or rather I don't know how to start telling people.
It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I don't know how to tell.
What I know how to do is crying. Useless. I just don't have the courage to face my problems.

Sometimes it just feel so good to know that someone care for you. And I am the poor thing who do not know how to appreciate it. No matter what, thanks for everything and you know who you are. If I make you feel bad or anything, I apologize. Please don't be. Because I am the one who should be taking all this.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not getting any sympathy here. I want to be strong. I just don't want to suppress my feelings anymore. I just want to tell everything and let everyone know about how I feel. Then jugde me. Any wise words are welcome. Be it privately or publicly. Just tell me. I want to know.

I am just flushing everything that I've kept for a long time. I felt so much better.
I know that I am being quite emo lately. I just couldn't help it.
But I promise, no matter what happen, I will keep smiling because this is the only way to make me believe that I am ok.

By the way, two more papers till freedom. ^^ No worries.

Am I being too extreme? I hope not. I guessed everyone will have a better view of me after reading this post. I am a girl with a lot of worries.

最近。。。

我算是鼓起勇气去写这篇文章，
希望你们能够耐心得读。

表达自己？
最近我发觉我越来越不会表达自己。
欲言又止是我惯用的动作。
我想破了头， 还是无法寻找到答案。

或许我习惯了隐藏真实的自己。
让自己在这个虚伪的世界藏起来。
然而我又偶尔把内心的那个自己呈现在人面前。

我经历过的事并不少。
都活了十八年， 看东西多多少少都会看得比较透彻。

人真的翻脸比翻书还快。
这是我的真实体验。
一下子热情连连， 转过了头一得罪他，
我就会被批评得体无完肤。

说什么我真的后悔了、什么道歉之类的，
老实说我觉得很假。

当然不是每个都是这样。
我还有值得我去付出真心的朋友。

当你想要别人如何对待你，你就要这样去对待人家。
可是我不见得我的真心和回报有同样的比例。

或许是我小心眼， 可是我常常都在想，
难道真的是我的错吗？
我也只不过是一个普通人而已，
难道我能控制一切吗？

希望你们读了这篇文章后不会因此而对我保有戒心。
我只是单纯得想要表达我自己而已。

我只是想要珍惜彼此的缘分而已。

缘分？
缘分这东西真的很奇怪。
它会悄悄地来， 然后一瞬间就消失得无影无踪。
记得以前小的时候，曾试过"暗恋"一个人。
可是天呀，我那时候连爱也不知道是什么， 还学人玩暗恋。

后来到了中学，是情窦初开的时候。
印象中有个男孩， 我对他有好感。
后来都没事发生，好笑吧？

然后到了高中，身边的人纷纷开始谈恋爱，
我傻傻地问自己，为什么没有人追我？
想起来真的觉得很好笑。过
后我的高中生活就这样的过了。

到年尾才得知有个男孩等了我好久。
突然觉得对他有一点愧疚。
只想对他说我不知道我们之间有没有机会，
因为我连我自己要什么都不知道。
我知道你对我很好。
我真的很谢谢你。
就这样我的中学生涯到了尾声。

上了学院后， 以为有机会了。
结果班上女生占多数。
又没希望了。

想必我这里的剖白已经回答了一些人的疑问吧？
每当别人问我，有没有人追呀？
我都说没有，而他们总是不相信。
不是说我自己条件好还是什么，
不过我就是没有嘛。

我也在等待缘分的到来。
你几时才来？

生活
我最近的生活都很普通。
现在正忙着考试，不久后就放假了。
期待能与朋友们聚一聚。
还有补看错过的电影。

没考试的时候，就会闲在家里。
差点没发霉。
书固然要读，但读久了就不想去碰了。
希望难熬的日子快点过。

最近迷上了plurk。
有一点无法自拔。
不过真的很过瘾。

有时候我觉得自己有点奇怪，
不过不要紧，世界有我的容身之处。
不过与父母就多了一些冲突。
希望我们的关系不会变糟。

我的事情就告一段落。
谢谢你们耐心地把它读完。
如有任何留言请写下。

十一月的深思

十一月，
意味着什么？

十一月，
我们已走向尽头。

十一月，
生活作息都非常忙碌。

十一月，
惆怅又增添了几分？

十一月，
思念多了。

十一月，
恼人的测验席卷而来。

十一月，
天气凉了。

十一月，
十二月还会远吗？

十一月，
未完成的事还有多少？

十一月，
似乎是沉重的。

十一月，
我做过了什么？

十一月，
为什么我还那么闲？=.=

正期盼十二月的到来。


此文章是废话连篇。
读了就忘掉。